Sunday, April 14, 2024 [4:21 PM]

I’ve felt low energy the past few weeks. Tired in my body - my eyes, my head, my chest. I am trying to practice kindness when my body is in this state. Go gently. It’s all but quiet whisper.

I woke this morning in a haze. I’ve keenly observed the morning light for 18 days waiting for the patterns to arrive (a project I’ll share more about soon). As I laid there, I convinced myself the next motion was easy.

Every Sunday, I wake up and put my cycling shoes on. At this point, it feels almost like religion to me. A devotion that cannot be broke. Some Sundays, like today, I’m sluggish, hearing my bed call me back to warmth and comfort. I push through the fog. And without even realizing, I clip into my bike.

Movement feels good today. Good on my body. I can feel my strength coming back — a feeling that craves more nutrients, more hydration, more love, and more grace.

I’ve done a lot of therapy work to put my body at more ease. Rest is ok. Anxiety, constant rumination, doesn’t have to take the lead. For the most part, I’m doing pretty ok surrendering when I need to. Yet, I struggle to find the center of this balance sometimes. Too much rest and I slump into depression. Sadness and immobility. Too much movement and I feel anxious energy. Nervousness and exhaustion.

I’m taking it slow today, and letting the movement simply feel good.